My Predictions For The First Six Months With Democrats In Charge
1) Impeachment hearings will be launched against Rumsfeld, Rice, Cheney, and most likely the President Himself.
2) Gitmo is closed and the prisoners released - with apologies and business class tickets to the destination of their choice - except for a handful who will be given Mouassai style show trials that damage national security. Following the show trials, the remaining "wrongfully" accused Muslims (they were just jaywalking in Kandahar, for pete's sake!) will be released after they promise to help find the "real" terrorists.
3) The Patriot Act is repealed.
4) The NSA wiretap program is halted
5) The financial data tracking program is halted
6) A "Police" task force - coordinated with international law enforcement - is set up to fight terrorism. Americans are advised to "learn to live with it, it's just a minor annoyance."
7) The Democrats throw their concerns about Mark Foley and the page scandal to the side, because they really don't give a crap about it in the first place.
8) All U.S. troops are withdrawn from Iraq within one month. The Iraqi government promptly falls and a true civil war begins.
9) With the U.S. emasculated and Iraq now a puppet state of Iran, Syria trots out the chemical and biological weapons that Saddam Hussein hid with Assad and arms Hezbollah to the teeth.
10) A massive terrorist attack takes place in a major U.S. port city; possibly nuclear, or biological.
11) With the loss of a major port and with other ports closed for security assessment, the U.S. economy grinds quickly into a recession. Democrats promise to raise taxes to help those affected.
12) Numerous smaller attacks begin, including suicide bombings in major U.S. cities. The subways are targeted in several large cities. On one day over 200 public schools are invaded Beslan style and thousands of children die.
13) Khalid Sheik Mohammed releases a scathing video tape about the stupidity of the U.S. public and their leaders. He thanks them for the nice rest at Gitmo and pledges to personally kill as many Americans as he can.
Things only get worse from there.
(QC: This was a tad tongue in cheek, but not much)
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