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Showing posts with label Animal Attacks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Animal Attacks. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

The Snakes Are Stalking Us

Teen Wakes To Find Snake Wrapped Around Neck, Biting Her Arm
A teenage girl in Australia awoke when a snake slithered into her bed, wrapped itself around her neck and bit her on the arm.

Ashlee Findlay, 16, who is afraid of snakes, spiders and centipedes, spent two hours at a hospital after the attack, the Northern Territory News reported Tuesday.

The receptionist said she would be haunted by the incident. "Everyone was a bit freaked," she said.

Findlay woke up in her Howard Springs home early on Thursday morning when the snake bit her.

"I thought it was a huge spider or something. I hate spiders. But a few seconds later, I felt something moving past my neck,'' she said. "I turned on my light to see this huge slithering snake on my pillow.''

Findlay said she had been asleep since early in the evening and feared the snake could have been in her room the whole time."
After the emergency room, just take me to the loony bin, because I'd be nutty as a carrot cake.

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Thursday, July 31, 2008

Hello! Alligators Eat People! Is This Blog On?

Alligator Bites Off Arm Of 11-Year-Old Louisiana Boy
Sheriff's deputies say an alligator has bitten off an 11-year-old boy's arm in Louisiana.

Deputies say Devin Funck was playing in a neighborhood
pond in a subdivision about 20 miles northeast of New Orleans when the alligator pulled him under. The alligator was described as between 10 and 12 feet long.
Let's look at little picture shall we? This is a map of the habitat of the American Alligator - a giant carnivorous reptile. Carnivorous means they will eat you.



Notice how Louisiana and Florida are entirely green? That means stay out of the motherfu-king water!

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Saturday, June 21, 2008

A New Low (Or High?) In Snake Deviousness

6-Foot Python Slithers Out of 10th-Floor Apartment Toilet in Australia

A 1.8 meter black - headed python has been found in a toilet bowl on the 10th floor of a Darwin apartment block.

It is believed the snake had been living in the plumbing of the building for some time.

Reptile wrangler Chris Peberdy rescued it after the tenants of the Cullen Bay apartment got the shock of their lives when going to the bathroom, the Northern Territory News reported.

"When I saw it I was pretty shocked," Mr Peberdy said.

"It's one thing in the Territory to have a green frog in the toilet ... but not a six-foot python.''

"It would certainly scare you if it came up from the depths of the toilet.''

Mr Peberdy said there were no windows or other spaces through which the snake - which is "as thick as someone's wrist'' - could have got in.

"There is no possible other way it could have got there than through the toilet,'' Mr Peberdy said.

Mr Peberdy said the python, which is not poisonous, was likely to be a runaway pet that had travelled through the pipes after escaping a neighbour's home.
Would certainly scare you?!? I would die. I would just die. You'd all be attending a funeral. Of course it would be a double funeral because my last ounce of life would have been spent killing the snake.

HA! I say to you all! HA! and double HA! Audrey - commenting on my last evil ophidians post over at Kevin and Patrick - thought she was being funny when she mentioned snakes and toilets; and you all laughed at me - I know you did - but the next time you go into your bathroom you'll look... you know you will.

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Wednesday, May 28, 2008

You Obviously Never Studied Marketing

Have you heard about the spate of shark attacks in Mexico? I won't rehash my thoughts on the danger of going in the ocean, I've made my feelings abundantly clear. I just wanted to point out a little tidbit from the story. Looking to reassure visitors to Mexico, marine biologist Chris Lowe, of California State University, Long Beach offered this choice piece of wisdom: People have a much better chance of dying of food poisoning going to Mexico than being bitten by a shark. Yeah, that ought to bring'em running. Of course it does relate to one of my other big questions about people and their holidays... Who freakin' vacations in the third world?

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Sunday, May 4, 2008

Helloooo!? Anyone Listening?!

I've Been Saying Almost The Same Thing For Years!
"It's the equivalent of stepping on to the plains of the Serengeti when you step into the water," Burgess said. 'It's not like a swimming pool. This is a wilderness experience and with it comes a certain amount of risk.
Are all of you "oooo swimming in the ocean is fun!" people listening to this?

Fine! Take your chances, and enjoy your new nickname: "Lunch"

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Friday, October 5, 2007

In The Jungle, The Quiet Jungle...

I thought my guardian angel was the most overworked and underpaid of the Heavenly Host, but the one watching this kid deserves a long vacation and his own fluffy cloud: Boy, 3, Found in Amazon; Lost 11 Days.

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Thursday, August 16, 2007

I Hate Snakes... I Hate Them... I Hate Them... I Hate Them!

I was walking Matilda this evening and she stepped right on a copperhead. I didn't see it strike at her and the emergency vet says she would have definitely reacted if she'd been bitten because it would be painful. He had me check her legs and snout for bite marks, which he said would be very obvious and said to watch her for signs of lethargy and drooling - although I'm not sure how to tell that from her normal behavior.

Fortunately copperheads aren't extremely aggressive or especially venomous. Still, when you see your dog right next to a 30 foot long, ugly, evil looking reptile with a huge gaping, hissing mouth filled with poison dripping fangs... it can unnerve you.

I. HATE. SNAKES. (and spiders...) (and stinging insects...) (I'm not really fond of worms either...)

Ye gods, I need a martini...

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Saturday, July 28, 2007

I Accept Your Apology...

That is, the apologies of all the people who said: "Oh Kevin, Great White sharks don't come up into northern waters, don't be silly!" Oh yeah, well read it and weep suckers:
SHOCKED tourists told of their terror last night over the Great White shark sighting off Cornwall.

And one holidaymaker said: “This has got to be every swimmer’s worst nightmare.”

The Jaws alert was raised after stunned dad Nick Fletcher filmed the fearsome fish just 200 yards from a beach in St Ives.

Last night Britain’s leading shark expert Richard Peirce confirmed the 12ft creature was definitely a predatory shark and there was every chance it was a Great White — immortalised in the 1975 Steven Spielberg movie Jaws.
Careful where you swim...bwahahahahahaha!

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