God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen - Jars of Clay - listen now

Friday, August 8, 2008

Hey... What The Hell?

Paris Hilton's Energy Plan: Hot?
The Paris Plan, verbatim:

"Barack wants to focus on new technologies to cut foreign-oil dependency, and McCain wants offshore drilling. Well, why don't we do a hybrid of both candidates' ideas?

"We can do limited offshore drilling with strict environmental oversight, while creating tax incentives to get Detroit making hybrid and electric cars.

"That way, the offshore drilling carries us until the new technologies kick in, which will then create new jobs and energy independence. Energy crisis solved."

Then she says she is "like totally ready to lead."

"Never thought I'd say this," Connecticut energy consultant Peter Beutel told the Boston Herald, "but Paris Hilton's plan is sound."

And Rex Buchanan, an energy spokesman for the Kansas Geological Survey: "Is there something to what she says? Shoot, yes!

"Now I'm just speaking for myself and not the geological survey," he cautioned. "But we are going to need almost anything you can think of - all energy sources, alternatives and technologies - to get us through. What Paris doesn't talk about is that the electricity to power those hybrid and electric cars is going to have to come from somewhere, too.

"See what you've done? You've got me analyzing Paris Hilton's thought process."

Wayne Fields, an expert on political rhetoric at Washington University in St. Louis, said the Paris Plan probably does not drift far from the plans of McCain and Obama, or at least what either president would have to do.

"If she can articulate it, it can't be rocket science," Fields said. "But the candidates don't come out and sum it up this way, because their messages are, one, built around sound bites; two, built around oversimplification; three; built around interest groups."
Given the two abysmal major candidates, I say why not Paris? We already know about her dirty laundry. Jeebus... our leadership pool is this shallow? I weep for our future.


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