Katie Bomb

I admit it. I had hoped that Katie Couric would take the evening news scene by storm. Unfortunately there was nary a drop of rain or rumble of thunder. Warning: I zoned out a few times and I may leave something out or put it out of order - nothing important I assure you - but here's the long and short of it:

The show started before I knew it started. Then jumped straight into the following pattern:

1. Bash the War on Terror - "we're losing, we're losing, blah blah blah..."

2. Bash President Bush, "he's just a phony blah blah blah..."

(trust me, they didn't even attempt to hide the editorializing)

3. Montage of Prince Charles' baby pics - no really, keep reading! - then after that, after that - a picture of Tom Cruises' spawn baby. Robbie at the Malcontent thinks it's a Laotian child subjected to horrible plastic surgery. I believe it is an otherworldly creation which we should fear.

4. Feel good piece about how giving a poor third world child a portrait of themselves will change the world - one little good feeling at a time.

5. Morgan Spurlock astounded us by revealing that he believes himself to represent the middle of the American political spectrum. This is also where Katie demoted "Freedom of Speech" from "unalienable right" to "privilege" while introducing the "Free Speech" segment.

6. Bash big oil for discovering more of that black filth in the Gulf of Mexico

7. Lame attempt to sign off

Apparently there was a sympathy piece about Africa in there somewhere. Not Darfur or anything important I'm sure. There may have been something about ice cream, too.

Just like that thirty-minutes of my life was sucked away by the Affable Eva Braun of Evening News. All in all it was just like the Today show, only more vapid, more opinionated, and less relevant.

- - - R E L A T E D [4:22pm ET 09/06/2006] - - -

Debbie Schlussel reviews Katie Couric's debut, and she nails it.